Family Boundaries Guide
Support new parents while respecting their boundaries. Learn how to help in ways that truly serve the family during this sensitive time.
Download Your Boundaries Guide
Get this essential guide to supporting new families while respecting their needs and boundaries.
Visiting Guidelines
Call or text before visiting
New parents need predictability and may be sleeping, feeding, or bonding
Respectful Approach
Ask: "When would be a good time to visit this week?"
Disrespectful Approach
Showing up unannounced at any time
Keep visits short (30-60 minutes)
Long visits can be exhausting when you're already sleep-deprived
Respectful Approach
Set expectations: "We'd love to visit for about an hour"
Disrespectful Approach
Staying for hours without checking in
Don't expect to be entertained
New parents don't have energy to host traditional gatherings
Respectful Approach
Bring your own drinks, clean up after yourself
Disrespectful Approach
Expecting meals, entertainment, or hosting
Respect "no visitors" periods
Some days are harder than others, and recovery takes time
Respectful Approach
Say: "No problem, let us know when you're ready"
Disrespectful Approach
Pressuring or making them feel guilty
How to Be Genuinely Helpful
Meal Support
Bring ready-to-eat meals that can be frozen
Include heating instructions with any food
Ask about dietary restrictions or preferences
Bring disposable containers so they don't have to return dishes
Offer to pick up groceries or takeout
Household Help
Offer to do a load of laundry or dishes
Bring toilet paper, paper towels, or other essentials
Take out trash or recycling
Help with pet care if they have animals
Offer to run errands or make phone calls
Emotional Support
Listen without trying to fix everything
Validate their feelings and experiences
Share encouragement and positive observations
Check in via text without expecting immediate responses
Remind them they're doing a good job
Sibling Support
Offer to take older children for a few hours
Bring activities or small gifts for older siblings
Include older children in age-appropriate ways
Help maintain older children's routines
Give older siblings special attention
Communication Guidelines
Use "I" statements
Example:
""I'd love to help with..." instead of "You should let me...""
Why this works:
Removes pressure and gives them choice
Ask before giving advice
Example:
""Would you like suggestions or just someone to listen?""
Why this works:
Respects their autonomy and current needs
Be specific with offers
Example:
""Can I bring dinner Tuesday?" instead of "Let me know if you need anything""
Why this works:
Makes it easier for them to accept help
Follow their lead
Example:
"If they're talking about challenges, don't immediately pivot to solutions"
Why this works:
Sometimes they just need to be heard
Respect their communication style
Example:
"If they're not responding to texts quickly, don't take it personally"
Why this works:
They have limited energy and bandwidth
Key Principles to Remember
When in doubt, ask
It's better to ask what they need than to assume you know.
Respect "no" gracefully
Accept their boundaries without making them feel guilty.
Follow their lead
Let them guide the level of involvement they're comfortable with.
Every family is different
What worked for one family may not work for another.
Support without strings
Offer help without expecting gratitude or reciprocation.
Be patient
Adjustment takes time, and needs change as families grow.
Respecting Boundaries Shows Love
When you respect a new family's boundaries, you're showing them that you value their autonomy, well-being, and growing confidence as parents.