It's 2:14am in your North Austin apartment, and your baby has been asleep for 20 minutes—but you're still sitting on the couch, not daring to go into the nursery. You've been avoiding picking her up alone all day, skipping the diaper change earlier because your partner was at work, and now even walking past the bathroom door feels risky because of those thoughts about the tub. Your heart races just thinking about being alone with her, and you're exhausted from dodging these moments all day. You wonder if you're losing your mind.
This isn't rare, and it's not your fault. Dr. Nichole Fairbrother at the University of British Columbia found that up to 91% of new mothers experience intrusive thoughts in the weeks after birth, and for many, these lead directly to avoidance behaviors like steering clear of the baby, the kitchen, or even leaving the house. Dr. Jonathan Abramowitz at UNC Chapel Hill notes that avoidance is a core feature of postpartum OCD and anxiety, where it temporarily quiets the fear but keeps the cycle going.
This page breaks down what postpartum avoidance behaviors really are, why they hit so hard in North Austin, and how targeted therapy can help you step back into those moments without the dread. You can feel more present with your baby again.
What Postpartum Avoidance Behaviors Actually Are
Postpartum avoidance behaviors are when you start dodging everyday situations with your baby because they trigger intense anxiety or those unwanted thoughts. It might look like avoiding holding your baby without someone else in the room, skipping baths or tummy time because you're scared you'll hurt her somehow, putting off grocery runs to HEB because driving with the baby feels too overwhelming, or even staying out of the nursery as much as possible. It's not laziness—it's your brain trying to protect you from the fear spiking in those moments.
This often ties into postpartum anxiety support, where the avoidance starts small but builds until you're barely functioning. Unlike normal new-mom overwhelm, which eases with rest, this sticks around and interferes with bonding or basic care. Dr. Diana Lynn Barnes, a perinatal mental health expert, highlights in her research how these behaviors show up in up to 20% of postpartum women, especially when linked to intrusive fears.
Why This Happens (And Why It's Especially Hard in North Austin)
Your brain is doing exactly what it's built to do after birth: scanning for threats. Postpartum hormones amp up the fear response, and intrusive thoughts latch onto that, making certain situations feel dangerous. Avoidance feels like relief at first—no contact with the tub, no alone time with baby—but it actually trains your brain to see those things as even more threatening over time.
In North Austin, this can feel amplified by the suburban setup and daily realities. You're navigating I-35 traffic just to get to Dell Children's for a checkup, far from family who might step in, and in a culture of high-achieving tech parents where admitting struggle feels like failure. The sprawl means fewer walkable spots for quick support, and Austin's heat keeps you inside more, turning your home into a pressure cooker for avoidance. No wonder avoiding the nursery or a solo outing starts making sense.
Dr. Pilyoung Kim at the University of Denver has shown through brain imaging that new moms' amygdala—the threat detector—is hyperactive for months postpartum, fueling these patterns unless addressed.
How Therapy Can Help Postpartum Avoidance Behaviors in North Austin
Therapy targets avoidance head-on with approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), which help you gradually face those avoided situations in a controlled way. We start small—maybe just sitting in the nursery with your baby awake and someone nearby—building your confidence that the feared outcome won't happen. It's not about forcing you through terror; it's about proving to your brain that you can handle it.
At Bloom Psychology, we focus on Postpartum OCD & Intrusive Thoughts support and these exact behaviors, tailored for North Austin moms. Whether you're in the thick of it in North Austin proper or commuting from nearby, our location makes sessions accessible without the usual traffic nightmare. We weave in tools for the local grind, like planning outings past HEB without dread, and connect you to our specialized postpartum anxiety therapy.
Many moms see real shifts in weeks, reclaiming time with their baby. Check our blog on avoidance versus just being wiped out for more insight.
When to Reach Out for Help
It's time to connect if avoidance is keeping you from essential baby care—like skipping feeds, baths, or changes—or if it's lasted more than a couple weeks and your sleep or mood is tanking. Other signs: the dread hits hard even thinking about the situation, you're relying heavily on your partner or others to handle baby tasks, or it's spilling into avoiding friends or outings entirely. If it's linked to birth trauma echoes, that's another clear signal.
Reaching out doesn't mean you're failing—it's the step that breaks the cycle. Even if it's "just" impacting a few things, support now prevents it from growing.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is avoidance behaviors normal?
Yes, it's incredibly common—Dr. Nichole Fairbrother's research shows over 90% of moms have the intrusive thoughts that spark it, and avoidance follows for many as a natural response to feeling scared. The key is scale: occasional dodging from exhaustion is one thing, but when it's routine and ramps up your anxiety, that's when it signals postpartum anxiety or OCD needs attention. You're not alone in this.
When should I get help?
Get support if the avoidance has gone on for weeks, interferes with bonding or daily care, or leaves you more exhausted and isolated than baby wake-ups alone would. Red flags include intense physical anxiety before avoided tasks, relying on others for basics, or it worsening despite rest. Early help keeps it from snowballing.
Does avoidance mean I'm dangerous to my baby?
No—these behaviors stem from your protective instincts overdrive, not any real intent to harm. Moms with avoidance from intrusive thoughts are often the most vigilant; therapy helps reduce the fear so you can engage without second-guessing. Having the thoughts doesn't make you act on them.
Get Support for Postpartum Avoidance Behaviors in North Austin
If you're dodging time with your baby or daily tasks to quiet the fear, specialized therapy can help you move through it. At Bloom Psychology, North Austin moms find compassionate, effective relief from these patterns right here in the area.