How to Prepare for Postpartum: A Plan to Make While Pregnant

The registry matters. So does having someone to call when feeding is hard, you're lonely, or you love your baby and still miss your old life. In the video above, I talk about the support I'd put in place much earlier.

1. Arrange feeding support before you need it

I'd have a lactation consultant scheduled for the week I got home from the hospital. Feeding can be surprisingly challenging, and trying to find help while you're exhausted and worried is a lot.

An IBCLC, or International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, can help with nursing, pumping and bottles. Your baby's pediatrician is the person to ask about formula, weight gain and how often your baby needs to eat. You can choose that pediatrician before the birth and ask how to reach the practice after hours.

You don't need to know exactly how feeding will go to arrange support. You may change your plan once you meet your baby or find out what feeding is asking of you. Leave room for that.

If you have a partner, talk now about their part. They can wash pump parts, prepare supplies and bring you food and water. If you're nursing at night, they may be able to handle the diaper, bring the baby to you and resettle afterward. Work out a sleep plan with your baby's feeding needs in mind; your pediatrician or lactation consultant can help with that part.

2. Start building your village while you're pregnant

I wish I'd joined a prenatal class where I could meet moms due around the same time. A yoga class, a childbirth class, a local group: somewhere you might see the same people again. New motherhood can be isolating, and exchanging numbers is easier before you're trying to do it during a feed.

If local groups aren't available, bookmark Postpartum Support International's free online support groups. They have groups for pregnancy as well as postpartum. You can start finding people before things feel hard.

Then think about the people already in your life. Who could bring dinner? Who would sit with you without needing to be hosted? Who could take the baby while you shower? A useful list has names and specific jobs:

• “Could you organize meals for the first week?”
• “Can you pick up groceries on Tuesdays?”
• “Would you come over for an hour so I can nap?”
• “Can I text you when I'm awake and having a rough night?”

Some families can pay for a postpartum doula, a cleaner or a few hours of childcare. Others can't. A small amount of reliable help is worth planning around, whatever it looks like. This guide for friends and family explains the kind of help new moms often need.

Decide how your home will run

If you're parenting with a partner, decide who owns groceries, laundry, bottles and restocking. Ownership includes noticing and remembering. Write down what each person will handle and what can wait for a while.

Choose a simple food plan: freezer meals, a meal train, easy groceries. Decide how you'll handle visitors and who will tell people it's time to go. The aim is to spare you decisions when you're tired. You'll revise the plan once you know what your days are actually like.

3. Make room for the emotional change

I didn't know perinatal mental health specialists existed when I was a new mom. I wish I'd had someone who could help me understand what I was feeling and fit motherhood into who I was before.

Becoming a mom changes your relationships, your work, your body and your sense of yourself. That transition is called matrescence. You may feel excited about your baby and sad about losing parts of your old life. Having somewhere to say that honestly can matter a lot.

You can look for a perinatal therapist during pregnancy, ask about availability and save their number. Therapy can be a place to prepare and process, even before you're struggling. How to choose a perinatal mental health therapist has questions to ask.

Tell your OB or midwife about any history of depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder or postpartum psychosis, including relevant family history. Involve your psychiatrist or prescriber if you have one. The US Preventive Services Task Force recommends counseling for pregnant and postpartum people at increased risk of perinatal depression (USPSTF, 2019). Your care team can help make a plan that fits your history.

What should I save in a postpartum mental-health plan?

Keep the contact details somewhere you and a support person can find them:

• Your OB or midwife's office and after-hours number
• Your baby's pediatrician
• A therapist or other mental health clinician
• The PSI HelpLine: call or text 1-800-944-4773 for non-emergency support
• The National Maternal Mental Health Hotline: call or text 1-833-852-6262, available 24/7
• 988 for crisis support, and 911 for immediate danger

Ask when your postpartum check-ins will happen. ACOG recommends contact within three weeks of birth and a comprehensive visit no later than 12 weeks (ACOG, 2018). Bring up your mood and sleep at those appointments, and call sooner if you're worried.

How will I know when to reach out?

Learn the signs now, and share them with someone close to you. Talk with a professional about a low, anxious or empty mood that lasts most days for two weeks or more, loss of interest, persistent guilt or hopelessness, trouble sleeping even when you have the chance, or difficulty feeling connected to your baby (NIMH, 2023). Severe or rapidly worsening symptoms need attention sooner.

Distressing, unwanted thoughts can occur with anxiety and OCD. They deserve a conversation with a clinician, and having them doesn't mean you want to act on them.

Confusion, unusual or paranoid beliefs, seeing or hearing things others don't, or seeming not to need sleep with unusual energy can signal an urgent problem. Call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room for signs of postpartum psychosis. If you're thinking about suicide or need crisis support, call or text 988. Call 911 for immediate danger to you or your baby.

A plan gives you people and numbers to turn to. It can't prevent every hard day, and a difficult postpartum doesn't mean you prepared badly. If the plan stops fitting, ask for more help and change it.

If you'd like support preparing for the emotional side of postpartum, you can book a free 15-minute consultation. I see moms in person in Austin and online across Texas and 40+ PSYPACT states.

Sources

• US Preventive Services Task Force. Interventions to prevent perinatal depression: US Preventive Services Task Force recommendation statement. JAMA, 2019.
• National Institute of Mental Health. Perinatal Depression.
• American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. Committee Opinion No. 736: Optimizing Postpartum Care. 2018, reaffirmed 2025.
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. What to Expect.
• Postpartum Support International. Perinatal Mental Health: Signs, Symptoms and Treatment and Get Help.