Why Reassurance Makes Anxiety Worse, and What Helps Instead

Transcript

Here is something that anxiety tells us to do that is actually making the anxiety worse. When you're anxious, your brain often tells you to get more reassurance. Google it, ask someone you trust, check again just to be sure. And reassurance does work briefly. It calms your nervous system for a moment, but then anxiety comes back and it asks again, I need you to check this. And over time, seeking reassurance teaches your brain that uncertainty is dangerous and that you can't handle uncertainty on your own. You need to get reassurance from some outside source. But real relief doesn't come from certainty. We can't really be certain. The future is an unknown. Relief comes from learning how to tolerate the not knowing. So if you feel stuck in this loop where you're anxious and then you're seeking reassurance but it doesn't really help, nothing is wrong with you. Your nervous system has just learned this rule that doesn't actually help. So what does help is working with a therapist who can help you tolerate the uncertainty so that you can get out of this loop.